Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
