Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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