Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
What happened to fro yo and sex?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
