It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
