I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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