Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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