jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
