i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
