I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
