I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I believe in your delicious
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
