I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
When are your genitals available?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
