Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
