The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
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Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
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Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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