Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The feeling are messing with the penis
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
