Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
