u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
