He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
