Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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