i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
