yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
