I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
