I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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