I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
