and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
