...so i touched it.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
