why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize