Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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