so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
