carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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