mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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