Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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