I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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