Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
