dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
