As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
