Already got asked if we're dating
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
