My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
