you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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