I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
