Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
