Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
