OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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