You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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