anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
