Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
