I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
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she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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