I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
