If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
