i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
