i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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