I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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