Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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