A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
