just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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