Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
