I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
