Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
