Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
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I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
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My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!