Midget sex pt 2 tonight
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.