I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
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We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave