I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
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underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
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Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk