I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
