my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
