how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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