wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
