she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
